The song “True Believers” by Darius Rucker came on the radio last night while me and my husband were driving. It sparked a conversation about how even though society, media, and the status quo for marriage is far from how it should be and what we desire for our relationship, it is refreshing to find a few people out there that still cherish and live by the values and standards that we have. It is encouraging to find those who have a mindset about relationships that leads to life and happiness, instead of feeling trapped and disappointed by marriage and your spouse. Tonight I started to think about some of the resources that have helped me have good mindsets in my marriage and taught me so much about how to nourish my relationships. Some of these books I need to reread and apply to more areas of my life, some of them I just discovered and love what they have to say.
I realize that I am far from perfect and our marriage is not even close to ideal. We have a lot of good foundational things in the right place, but daily I try to see where I can improve and if there are things in my life I need to do, or not do, to improve my marriage and myself as a woman.
Here are some of the resources, I hope that they bring light to your mindsets and joy to your relationships.
- Captivating by Stasi Eldredge
An amazing book about a woman’s heart, desires, dreams, how she works, and what she is created for in respect to relationships.
(also her and her husband have several other great books. “Love & Respect” is one I have heard good things about and “Wild At Heart” is great to read if you need help understanding how men are built and work)
- 25 Ways to Communicate Respect to Your Husband from the Blog Loving Life at Home by Jennifer Flanders
She uses some scripture to help back up a few of the points. I agree with all of them and I am trying to put them into practice in my relationship with my husband. They can make a world of difference.
- I Didn’t Love My Wife When We Got Married Love and relationship from a husband’s perspective. Sometimes hearing it from their viewpoint can be the greatest growth tool we can use in our marriage.
- The Peasant Princess By Mark Driscoll
This is a podcast that I listened to while we were dating. It goes through the Song of Solomon from a fresh perspective. His wife is also there to help explain some of the points about/to women. Excellent for single, dating, married couples or individuals to listen to.
- For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn
I did not read the entire book, but what little I did read was thought provoking and made me understand the way I need to act towards the men in my life.
- Peacemaker by Ken Sande
This is not necessarily a marriage book, but a lot of the principles in this book come in handy when dealing with conflict in any relationship. If you are not a peacemaker by nature, or if you are too passive you could gain some knowledge from reading this book.
Honest, simple tips on improving your friendship with your husband.
Tips from a happily married for fifteen years couple. Very practical and unique.
Here are some resources I found as a single women that also helped shape my mindsets about relationships, which then helped me later on in my marriage. Its important how you think and what you know going into a relationship, it can really make a difference.
- Sex God by Rob Bell
I read this as a single adult and it challenged the way I looked at sexuality and the need for a romantic relationship.
- Becoming a Woman of Excellence by Cynthia Heald
A personal devotional/study that goes through the life of Ruth and uses her life as a tool to see how we can be women of excellence.
- Anonymous by Alicia Britt Chole
This book has very little to do with relationships, it is more of a self discovery book. (Because if you cannot be whole yourself, how can you expect to have a good relationship with someone else? Two whole people make a marriage.) This book is about hidden years. Those years before marriage, career, ministry (or sometimes in the middle of marriage, career, ministry) when we are hidden and God is using that time to grown our roots.
- And the Bride Wore White by Dannah Gresh
I read this with my Girls for God group in High School. It honestly did bring some truth and explanation to why I needed to have integrity in my life and relationships.
- Authentic Beauty by Leslie Ludy
We did this study with some of the young adult women in our MC group. It has some good insight.
- Beautiful Girlhood by Mabel Hale
When I was in Middle School my pastor’s wife gave me this book. I read it cover to cover more times than I can count. I wanted so badly to become a woman who blossomed like a beautiful rose. Its lessons, though somewhat old-school, were invaluable in my life.