Trusting

Have you ever sat and listened to someone present their proposal of why you should give their organization money?  After how did you feel? Obligated. Convinced. Compelled. That it was a good investment? Have you ever sat in church before the offering is taken and felt the same way?

I’m not sure about you, but more than once I have given to the offering out of guilt or expectation for God to reward me. I felt as if I had to give because it was my duty or that if I give God the last money in my bank account that I really need for something else then he has to bless me.

Recently while sitting in church, I stood up and grabbed the last of the money in my wallet. Stepping out into the foyer where they were already counting the money, I dropped it into the basket. (My decision didn’t exactly happen quickly as you can see, offering time had already passed) As I sat back in my seat I felt the question, “Why?”. This time it wasn’t about guilt. It wasn’t about giving God the money I needed for gas or groceries and expecting Him to have someone turn around and bless me. It was about trust. Letting go of the safety net that I  ad set in place, and fully trusting God and my husband. Financially we are not in the best place currently. I had set aside a little cash in my wallet in case the bank was empty and we needed gas or some emergency occurred before the next paycheck came in. Often I put a twenty or fifty in my wallet so that we have that emergency money. With things so tight it can really help if something unexpected comes up (and it does). This time though it was me that put that money there and “forgot” about it. I knew that cash was there, but I did not tell my husband that I had set it aside like I normally do. If something came up then I would conveniently say “Oh look what I found” and rescue the situation. I wasn’t truthful. I wasn’t trusting. I wanted to make sure I had a safety net. That I knew how everything was going to be ok. I wanted to be the one to rescue the situation. I wanted to be the savior.

I dropped the money in the offering that day not in hopes that God would reward my giving, but in gratitude that He has never dropped us. Financially it always comes. Often in the eleventh hour, but it is there and we are always ok. My husband and God take good care of me. I needed to stop hording “just in case” money and trust that they have got it all under control. Its not my place to be the savoir or rescue the situation. It is my place to trust. With my heart, my words, my actions. So I gave all that I had. No guilt. No expectation. Just gratitude and trust.

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