Gratitide

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A good friend of mine sent me a book for my Kindle around Christmas time.
“One Thousand Gifts” by Ann Voskamp
As excited as I was to receive a new book, it was soon lost in the mix of several other good reads I was attempting to get through without too much distraction. Last week I finally found some time to finish a chapter I had started a while back. I barely made it through when I found myself curled up in my comfy chair with tears streaming down my face, broken and vulnerable to rediscovered facts that there was hope for my recent fustrations and failures. My struggles overtook me. I would stare at them and wonder where they stemmed from and if there was any release from them. Anger, stress, and discontent bombared my heart and words. It felt as if nothing good flowed from this being and I had no clue how to fix it. The words on the page (screen) brought new light and hope to my mirky heart. Eucharisteo. One simple word expounded upon by one woman. Changing my mindset. Melting a heart I did not know was iced over. Gratitude was this “key” that I never knew I needed. Specific, purposeful gratitude. Oh how my heart melted. Leaking out of my eyes amd down my cheeks. I had lost what was important in the midst of “surviving” and unbeknownst to me, had grown ungrateful. This mirky yuck in my heart that I could not give name nor cure to had been discovered.
I, like Ann, have started a list. It isn’t as easy or groundbreaking as I had hoped, but I practice gratitude anyway. I want to live Eucharisteo. I want to get rid of the gross inside my heart that has overflowed onto my life. So I practice. It will be worth it. That is my hope. That is the light in this darkness of mine. Perhaps you will find it too.

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