Some people love to put their entire life out there for the world to see, others hide it locked away in a closet. Some find a healthy balance. My hope is to have a healthy balance with a slight leaning towards having it out there for the world to see. Not in an extreme way, and tastefully “out there”. ( I can’t tell you how many times TMI made me uncomfortable around a couple who wanted to be “transparent” with the world.) I believe there is a time to resolve conflict in public, and a time to do it behind closed doors. A time to show affection in front of others, and a time to keep that “adventure” between the two of you. A time to let the world in on decision making, and a time to let your convictions be your own. With that said, I want to talk a little about the fact that I purposefully post about my relationship with my husband on Facebook. Why? Because of all the nagging wives out there that post negativity about their husbands. Because of all the selfish wives that post about “me time” and pictures of them and their girls hanging out all the time. Because of the “solo wives” who’s profile picture is always of only them and you would never know they were married by the posts they put up and the comments they make. Because of the wives who are more obsessed with their kids than their husband. Those women who post picture after status update about their pride and joy and never a word about the other person who made that child possible. That is why I post purposefully about my relationship.
There are so many negative views on marriage out there. As soon as people found out I was getting married, the flow of “advice” pour in. I had to step back and try not to lash back as they “encouraged” me. I still get a little hot under the skin when people tell me how my marriage is going to end up or suffer, “Well, you’re lucky, but it won’t last for long.” I want to respond, ” Not with that attitude.” I can’t go two days without seeing someone post something negative about their husband (directly or indirectly) or be a prime example of the wives I listed above. (Mind you I’ve weeded through my friend list several times) The most well meaning, successful, happy, church involved women do it. They let it slip. Out of habit. Out of an influenced belief. Out of bitterness. They show the Facebook world a negative image of their marriage. Of marriage as a whole.
At a marriage conference the year before last, the speaker challenged us to post something publicly to Facebook praising or encouraging our spouse, as well as do it privately in the day to day at home. It was wonderful 14 days. I learned so much about lifting up and loving my husband. As well as showing others how I felt about him. Why shouldn’t they know how wonderful he is? Why shouldn’t they know how much I love him? Why shouldn’t I be proud to stand beside him in this adventure? To spend nights together in laughter or tears. With so many jaded views of relationships and marriage, why shouldn’t I try and show others what a healthy relationship looks like? I read something recently that stated, “I want a marriage that makes my children want to get married.” I agree. I also want a marriage that makes the single people in my life see hope and realistic love in marriage, and want to be married. I want a marriage that makes other married people want to be married to their spouse and appreciate what they have. I want them to be reminded of the little sparks and grateful for everyday with their spouse. I want others to see that it isn’t perfect, but it is real and it is very, very good.
So excuse me if I rant about my amazing husband’s cooking abilities, or check in “On the couch watching Sleeping Beauty with the Hubby eating ice cream”, or post a cheesy picture and quote on his wall. I’m just loving my husband, loving the time I spend with him and I want the world to know it! I want them to love that part of their life too. I want them to envy it in a healthy way. A way that makes them go out there and do something meaningful with their Hubby, not be bitter because he didn’t buy them Reese’s and Daisies.
I want to challenge you to start posting purposefully about your relationship on Facebook. It might be that your attitude towards your spouse needs to be changed a little. It might be that you’re FB is full of only you instead of including the person you became ONE with. Maybe you’re not so great at praising or encouraging your spouse. That might be a boost they need, but don’t know how to say it. Or maybe you’re head over heals and just never thought that someone else might need to see that in you’re life. Whatever the reason you do this, I promise it will grown you as a person and grown your relationship.