I Did Not Marry My Best Friend


I didn’t marry my best friend and I didn’t marry my soul mate.

Most people are thinking right now, ok here is where she breaks the news of her divorce or separation. Quite the opposite.

Growing up I was always told, “You’re supposed to marry your best friend.” So as a 22 year old I decided to try dating my male best friend, it was a disaster. I would hate to see where we would be if we were to get married. Now most of you are thinking, this is the part where she says don’t get too close to a guy you’re not going to marry. Wrong. The only thing I regret about my friendship with him is when we fell to the pressure to make it something socially acceptable. People are sent into your life for a reason and for a season. That season may be a weekend retreat, a lifetime, or a span of a few years. Whatever the season is, accept it with an open heart. I spent way too long becoming bitter when friendships and relationships ended, instead of grateful for what those relationships brought me.

As far as the topic of soul mates goes, hear me out. I know so many people who are “looking for their soul mate” “For their other half”. I’ve even heard Youth Pastors and Musicians use the whole, “God has one special person out there who will complete you” line. If a soul mate is someone whom your soul is tied to, one with, “And the two shall become one”, then I believe you create your soul mate. Becoming one soul through time, intimacy, and building relationship.

At this point you are either confused, completely opposed to this view, or considering this thought process. Either way, my goal tonight is to get you to think. Step outside the box of what you may have always heard.

Stop searching for your soul mate. Live each moment as the person that you are , and then you can become soul mates with the person your path leads you to marry. Don’t be afraid to make friends and have relationships. Kindred spirits are the best treasure life can offer. People who are there for a season. If you are bitter about those who leave, you will miss out on the joy and purpose those relationships give. Stop regretting them as mistakes. Embrace them as molding a part of who you are today.

As for my best friend, we’ve moved on. I treasure every second we had and I’m grateful for the things he poured into my life. I have day by day created a soul mate in my husband. I still make new friendships with people of all ages and genders. I’m fortunate to have a few kindred spirits that stand the test of time. I have learned the joys of embracing every choice in life instead of letting the fear of the wrong choice steal away my life.


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